Give yourself Grace
Photo by Monica Elizabeth
Give yourself grace. This has become a sort of “buzz” phrase. But what does that mean really? What does giving yourself grace look like? Here’s what I’ve been learning so far in my journey:
It’s an ever-evolving thing. Sort of like doing your “best” everyday…every day your “best” looks a little different (i.e. Your best when you’re well rested vs Your best when you’re sick etc). Giving your self grace is similar, its moldable, pliable, it shape shifts with each day. I’m learning that giving myself grace is not complacency, it’s about cultivating a safe space for myself, within my own heart and mind. Its about being a friend to myself and not an enemy. It’s about being a self-encourager instead of a self-critic. It looks like positive self talk! It’s funny how in a negative space we can begin to rationalize lies about ourselves (not good enough, its too late for me, no one will ever love me etc) but we forget that we can use that same energy to rationalize truths! (I’m so much better than I was, I’m learning, people love and support me, I have the power to change my reality etc). Hell, at this point I rather be delusional and positive than delusional and depressed. Here are some other bullet points that come to mind:
give yourself space to fail, to make mistakes - release perfectionism….that’s just your out of control ego talking! The Ego arrogantly thinks it’s perfect and wants you to “catch up”. It wants you to aim for an impossible state of being so that you get trapped in a perpetual state of “not good enough-ness”, girl STAWP
the beauty is in the MESS, be a trying and failing hot ass crazy mess, the point is you’re moving forward….in the words of a dear friend “if you do something everyday, you aint gon get worse at it” you’ll get there, it takes time….enjoy the ride :)
its ok do nothing on your day off - its a DAY OFF, stop creating shit to do….the thing you need to do is to not do shit. HELLO! REST IS PRODUCTIVE.
EXERCISE:
1) write down a challenge your going through or something you’re upset with yourself about etc….
2) read it aloud as if it were your sibling, best friend, spouse or someone you love going through what you’re going through….
3) think and feel how would you react, what would you tell your loved one, what advice would you give ? 4) Write it down
5) Read it back to yourself.
Would you say “you suck, that’s why you’ll never be successful, you should just give up, I can’t believe you did this, why would you do that etc” or would you be compassionate and loving and forgiving and understanding etc….Hopefully the latter….give yourself the grace you give to others :)
